“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)
What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think of intimacy? Washing and waxing the car, right? Yeh, me too! No, seriously! Typically, the “S” word, right? If you’ve been around the church very long, as a rule, the only time you hear about sex in a sermon is when it’s used to tell you what not to do outside of marriage, which, of course, is well and good. But the Bible has a lot more to say about intimacy than don’t have sex outside the boundary of marriage.
Do you realize the word translated “communion” in the verse above is the word “koinonia” (koy-nohn-ee’-ah), which is commonly translated “fellowship.” It’s a multi-dimensional word that can also be translated “intercourse,” which doesn’t have direct reference to sex, but speaks to the value of togetherness, closeness, contributing to one another’s lives in a healthy way.
One interesting aspect of “koinonia” is “a gift jointly contributed, a contribution, as exhibiting an embodiment and proof of fellowship.” Having “fellowship” with one another in the Body of Christ is a critical avenue of intimacy, not only with one another, but with God.
If you’ve walked with the Lord for very long, you have met fellow believers who seem more like family than friends. And the remarkable thing about that, it’s true wherever you travel across the world. There is a bond of togetherness that is implicit within the Church, the Body of Christ, the Family of God.
Before coming to Christ, we typically buy the world’s definition of “intimacy” as sex with as many partners as possible. And, as per usual, the world is wrong – grossly and completely wrong! The best and most intimate sex anyone will ever experience is with their life’s partner, their spouse, the one to whom they’ve pledge their life – for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; for as long as we both shall live!
Why is that? Because “koinonia” is based on far more than emotion. Foundationally, true, God-inspired, Biblical intimacy is based on sacrifice, illustrated most vividly in the death of our Savior on the Cross. My English teacher in High School said in the context of a discussion about sex, “Marriage isn’t just one big bedroom scene.” In other words, the value of marriage isn’t simply defined by sex.
In the ideal world, sex between and a man and a woman committed to one another in marriage, gives expression to their commitment to one another and allows for the experience of genuine intimacy. But if that’s the only time we’re “intimate,” what happens to the relationship after sex is no longer an option for one or both? Is that the end of intimacy?
Certainly not! My intimacy with God isn’t dependent upon sex, so why should my intimacy with my wife and other important people in my life be? Intimacy, at least as the Bible speaks of it, is more about spiritual closeness, shared values, shared goals, shared service, shared love for Jesus and His Bride. The times I feel closest to my wife are when we’re worshipping, either together or in a corporate setting.
Intimate communion with God leads to intimacy with others, in your family of origin and your family of God. Communion with God and with others, especially in the Body of Christ, is the answer to loneliness. No one in the family of God should ever be lonely. A lonely believer in Jesus on a lot of levels is an oxymoron.
If you’re lonely, speak to the Lord about what’s going on, delve into His Word, then let Him lead you to a thriving Christian fellowship where you can find like-minded, Scripture-oriented, Christ-loving, and Christ-honoring people who will gladly walk with you into spiritual health and intimacy. If you’re already a part of a fellowship like that, call someone!
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 