“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT)
In marriage it’s not uncommon for us to begin our life of marital bliss with tunnel vision. We tend to believe it’s just the two of us who will dictate the type and duration of “OUR” marriage. How naïve we are to believe we haven’t been influenced by culture, entertainment, the media, faith, a previous marriage, and, perhaps the most powerful influence, the homes in which we grew up.
We each have our preconceived notions of how we and our new spouse should function in our lives together. At first, depending on how long the honeymoon lasts, we may push irritating things to the proverbial “back burner,” but sooner or later we’re going to stop catering and start rebelling.
Think about it! We’re two imperfect people, having grown up in an imperfect home setting, in an imperfect world, filled with other imperfect people. It simply doesn’t make sense to expect a “perfect” marriage – but we do! And when the bubble bursts we don’t have a clue as to how to handle it, other than “our” way! Unfortunately, each “our” in that equation is also strongly biased by the influences of their life before marriage.
If we’re believers in Jesus we have opportunity to tap an eternal reservoir of resources to help us, beginning with a picture of the ultimate marriage model found in Scripture – Christ and His Bride, the Church. Do you want to know how to love your spouse? Jesus shows us in how He loves each of us, who corporately comprise His holy Bride.
What did His love look like? Sacrifice! He literally laid down His sinless life on our behalf. How does that translate for us? Paul said it well in the verse above: “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do!” Jesus died for us, but before that He spent three years showing us how to live, how to treat each other, how to pray, how to laugh, cry, celebrate life’s victories and deal with life’s disappointments together.
Life was never meant to be lived anonymously, in solitude, separated from others, even as a couple in marriage. Everything Jesus taught was in community, with the express intention of it being applied in the adventure of life as His follower. That’s how we live, love, learn, serve, share, experience joy, sadness, life, death, healing, wholeness – virtually everything we are or ever hope to be has a context that includes others we love and by whom we’re loved.
There are needs our spouse can’t meet, needs we can’t meet in our own lives, needs that can only be met in community, in the Body of Christ, His Church, His Bride. Imitating Christ and living a life of love is a life-long process learned and practiced in fellowship with other people who are also learning. None of us ever get it perfectly in this life, but by God’s grace and with His help, we get better at it over time.
If you’re married, I pray your goal is to build a marriage that is healthy, strong, loving, and lasting. A marriage that is a positive influence in the lives of your children, grandchildren, and others who are watching. We don’t always realize there are others watching our lives, our marriages, our walk with Jesus, but there are many.
Some are hoping we will fall and fail, and many of us have; but most are rooting for us, praying we’ll do well and influence a lot of others positively. For those watching, what is your life, marriage, and walk with Jesus modeling for them? Remember, it’s not just you and your spouse, or even you and Jesus, it’s you in community with the Body of Christ. We’re in this life together!
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 