“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NLT)
Do you believe women are part elephant? And, no, I’m not referring to the size of their clothes, but the size of their memory. I’ve concluded its worthless to argue with my wife. It seems she can remember every detail of everything we’ve ever done and, unfortunately, everything I haven’t done or did wrong.
When it comes to my failures and shortcomings, I’d really prefer to “let the past be past,” but I’ve learned that’s not always best, especially when the “past” keeps repeating itself. Some former things need to be dealt with, especially if they continue to create tension between you and someone you love.
Depending on the nature of the repeat behavior and how serious it is in terms of its effect on the relationship, sometimes it’s as simple as sitting down together and learning to listen to one another. If that’s not an answer that will work in your situation, consider seeking counsel from someone else whose opinion you both trust, not necessarily a professional.
Something we tend to forget is there are at least two dimensions to “former things” – former good things and former bad things. Likely because of our fallen nature we tend to focus on the bad, the things that separate us from one another; however, especially in marriage or virtually any long-term relationship, there should be, and hopefully are, many enjoyable things from which to draw memories.
Arguments or disagreements often dredge up things from the past that should already have been forgotten, as Isaiah 43:18-19 reminds us: “But forget all that – it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”
The “old things” to which Isaiah refers is the time God opened the waters and allowed the freshly freed slaves of Egypt to walk on dry ground with walls of water on each side of them, then drowned the Egyptian army by collapsing those walls on top of them.
How God has worked in our lives may not have been as dramatic, but, if we’re willing to take the time, we can surely find ways that God has intersected our lives in significant ways, ways that when pondered, can turn our hearts toward Him.
There are times in my life that when remembered, may seem to me that God was cruel or uncaring. “Why didn’t He heal that relationship?” “Why did He let my loved one die?” “Why didn’t He let me have that job I so wanted?” On and on it goes as we second guess God’s decision in those critical moments.
George Sweeting wrote: “Divine love is kind even when misunderstood. Love knows how to take sorrow and heartache victoriously.” There have been lessons I’ve learned in difficult circumstances, not only about God, but about myself, that I could have learned in no other way. For one, I’ve learned to hear God’s voice, to discern His “whisper” during the howling storm.
I’ve also learned that God never wastes a problem, so whatever you may be going through in this season of your life, hear the Psalmist’s words reminding us to: “Be still, and know that I am God!”
“Former things,” both positive and negative, can give rise to growth and increased closeness to the Father if we’ll let them.
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 