“I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.” (Psalm 6-7 NLT)
The pain and trauma of grief is multidimensional in its crippling effects on us. Grief primarily is associated with some form of loss, be it the loss of a loved one, friend, or pet in death; the loss of a job or significant role in which we felt the part we played was important; the loss of stature or prestige we once treasured; or the loss of a physical, mental, emotional, financial, or relational position.
Whatever grief means to you the result is or can be crippling. It can rob us of the potential we once thought we had or would have had if the loss hadn’t occurred. As is often the case, the battlefield upon which we engage our grief is between our ears. Yes, of course, our emotions take their cues from our thoughts and engage virtually every avenue of our lives, but how we think about our grief is critical.
Satan’s primary weapon of choice is discouragement, and he uses that tool powerfully at a time of loss in our lives. Depending on the nature of our loss, it’s not uncommon to blame ourselves in part or in whole for the loss. When I went through my divorce it became clear to me that if I’d been a better husband my wife wouldn’t have left, and that may well have been true, but it’s never the whole story.
We can always find ways we could have been better, more attentive, more conscientious, more _______ and you can fill in the blank. But none of that explains why we incurred the loss, and none of it will change the outcome. So, what do we do? We must determine not to waste our grief! But how?
As a Jesus follower we need to understand that God never wastes a problem and there’s always purpose in pain. God’s primary goal for each of His children is to enable us to be conformed to the likeness of His Son. One of the most mind-boggling verses in Scripture to me is found in Hebrews 5:8: “Even though Jesus was God’s Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered.”
The verses following the one above describe how God qualified Him to be the Savior and “perfect High Priest, and He became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey Him.” How does that contribute to our understanding in an effort to not waste our grief?
No one has ever suffered to the degree that Jesus suffered. A human being can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for Him to bear the weight of the world’s sin as He hung on the Cross. To bear the hell of every person who would one day yield their lives to Him is incomprehensible. There’s no way to measure the agony He endured, yet that’s what qualified Him to become our Savior.
In a similar way, the agony we endure in our grief will, if we submit to the Lord and allow Him to teach us through it, will one day qualify us to participate in something sacred. It can lead to something God-honoring, helpful to others, and enduring, not only for us, but for those whose lives are touched through our suffering.
By God’s grace I’m learning that pain can be my “friend,” alerting me to areas of need in my life. Without physical pain I can seriously injure myself, but not be aware. I can continue with damaging habits that have the potential to literally cripple me unless I seek the help needed to correct my course.
Similarly, we can learn lessons through grief that can equip us to be useful to others who are going through similar things that we endured, primarily, to learn to trust God’s wisdom and to walk faithfully with Him despite our pain. Through my pain I’ve learned that the God of the Bible is trustworthy and, as He promised, will never leave, or forsake me. That He is, and will always be, a very present help in my times of need…and yours!
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 