“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live.” (Ephesians 4:29-30a NLT)
Do you realize that your words can give hope, strength, energy, support, enlightenment, and many other very positive resources to build up those in your spheres of influence? But your words can also destroy, damage, hinder, hurt, and tear down.
The adage we used to say as kids: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is a lie. Words can damage irreparably. Words like: “I’m leaving you, I want a divorce,” “your son has leukemia!” “you’re under arrest!” “You’re fired!” are the kinds of words that change the trajectory of your life forever.
But there are also affirming, positive words that can also change you forever: “I love you; I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” “Your tests came back – you’re cancer free!” “There was a mistake, you’re free to go!” “You’re hired!” “You’re forgiven.”
Much of the time we underestimate the power of our words to help and heal and/or to damage and hurt. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 18:21: “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”
Pastor Rick Warren wrote: “Sometimes our words are like a sledgehammer. We swing away without thinking, and suddenly we look around and realize a pile of relational rubble surrounds us. When you thoughtlessly sling your words around and tear people down, your relationships are going to suffer.”
There’s also a verse in James 4:17 that I’m not sure we think about in this context, but perhaps we should. James wrote: “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” How many times has the Lord prompted you to send a note or make a call to encourage someone and you blew it off?
How often is that “still, small voice” prompting you to pay for someone’s meal, but you make excuses for yourself. Someone I know followed the voice of God to pay the bill for a young woman and her two small children without her knowing, and when they told the waitress what they wanted to do the waitress said: “You’re an angel!” It wasn’t necessarily their purpose, but more than just that mother and her kids were blessed.
That’s how it is when you’re seeking to be a blessing, when you’re always on the lookout to build someone up, not tear them down. May I encourage you to be on the lookout for ways you can lift someone up, especially those who are closest? Our temptation is to “correct” or “advise” our family, and too often we don’t watch our tone. We should lavish our praise on those we love the most.
Compliment generously for someone’s smile; their hair; their outfit; a job well done; a good thing they did without seeking any acknowledgement; a sermon well delivered; a song well sung; there are literally hundreds of little things people do without any expectation of being complimented, but oh what a blessing when they are.
The greatest temptation many of us face is to say things we don’t mean when we’re angry. “It’s just who I am! I can’t help it!” That’s a lie from the pit of hell, and you’d better “help it” if you’re a child of God. Walk away! Or better still – run away from any temptation that threatens to hurt someone with your words. Don’t regret it later, just don’t do it in the first place. The danger is just too great that you can tear down someone in ways that you can never repair. Please don’t take that risk.
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 
very well said!
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