“When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.” (2 Corinthians 7:5 NLT)
My wife and I attended a marriage conference a few weeks ago and part of the process was to take a personality inventory. The outcome was very revealing. It turns out my wife is a Beaver and I’m a Golden Retriever. What does that mean? It basically translates that we have a lot of differences in how we see and do things. How does that translate? We have a lot of differences, thus, a lot of challenges.
On some levels marriage is the perfect training ground for life. Perhaps that’s why the Lord Jesus referred to the Church as His Bride. Marriages, like the Church, are comprised of imperfect people who struggle with sin and often wrongly assume that their heart will lead them to happiness. But what if happiness isn’t on God’s radar for marriage or for our lives as believers?
What does that mean? It basically means that the Lord is more invested in our holiness than our happiness. Our goal as a believer in Jesus, including those who are married and unmarried, is to grow in our likeness of Jesus, to become ever more closely aligned with who He is and how He lived His life. In that light it makes sense that as we grow in our likeness of the Lord, we should be able to handle life’s challenges more effectively, both in our marriage and in the world.
Craig Groeschel wrote: “The way we respond to life’s challenges today will determine the strength of our faith tomorrow.” We basically have one of two choices: we can pursue Christlikeness (following God’s will) or pursue our own agenda (following our own will). Greg Stier wrote: “…the Bible is humanity’s instruction manual. And it’s clear on issues of identity and sexuality. We’re all born as slaves to our flesh—which encompasses our genetics, hormones, natural instincts, and sinful desires—and into a sinful, fallen environment—which includes abuse, unbiblical ideologies, and more. But the amazing news of the Gospel is that when we trust Christ, His Spirit frees us from that slavery and enables us to live in God’s ways—no matter what caused our sin to begin with.
How we respond to life’s challenges will dictate not only how well we get along with our spouse, but how we get along with ourselves and everyone else in our world. Unfortunately, statistics tell us that most of us are more interested in getting our own way than God’s. How do I know that?
The divorce rate in America in 2023 for first time marriages was right at 50%. The statistic climbs as we enter into 2nd and 3rd marriages, but that doesn’t tell the whole story. It’s also estimated that of the 50% who stay married only about 15% are happy. That’s actually not that surprising to me. Ask me on any given day and I may or may not be very happy in my marriage, but happiness isn’t my goal.
Life in Christ isn’t designed to make us happy, it’s to fill us with joy – two very different things. As we age life becomes harder, if for no other reason than our fluctuating health. But whether I’m healthy or sick doesn’t change the fact that I’m forgiven, filled with God’s presence, and destined to be with the Lord forever in heaven.
My circumstances can’t dictate my joy, only Jesus can do that. What I can do, in my marriage and in my life as a Jesus follower, is decide to believe as long as I have life I have purpose. That essentially means that when challenges come my way I don’t fold and give up, I run to Jesus and get the strength I need to get through them.
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 