“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT)
As a follower of Jesus, what we do must always be balanced by why we do it. Motive is often the real measure of the worth of what we do in the sight of God. We can do right things for wrong reasons and God isn’t honored. Similarly, we can also do things without any expectation of thanks or praise for ourselves, which helps someone and honors the Lord.
Ryan Guinee wrote in a Family Life devotional: “I knew exactly what she was referring to. It felt good to be appreciated, but the greater joy was found in expressing my love for her without an agenda. Just by noticing her load could be lightened and doing something about it, I gave her butterflies she hasn’t felt since we dated. I felt invincible.
Here’s the catch: If I was expecting her to make me feel whole through her praise, our marriage would be in serious trouble. She won’t always notice or appreciate my acts of kindness. So, I’ve drawn a line in the sand in my heart. Rather than manipulating her through my service when I need affection or appreciation, we talk about it—and I save my acts of service to love her rather than myself.”
Jesus didn’t die to get “atta boy’s” from His heavenly Father. Every act of kindness, every sacrifice, every miracle, every word He spoke and every action He took was always and only for the glory of God and/or the help of another person. He essentially removed Himself from the equation with the result being total submission to the will of the Father.
To the extent we trade our will for God’s, to that extent our efforts to be more like Him will be multiplied and His Holy Name will be glorified. But how do we do that? It begins with thinking of others first. Think of the average “disagreement” with your spouse, a co-worker, or a friend.
“Why’d you go behind my back to take that account from me?” “Why’d you use money I had set aside for our tithe for tickets to the ballet?” “Why don’t you ever help around the house?” And on and on they go. What’s our first thought? We go into defense mode, and when that happens the person foremost in our mind is ME! Usually resulting in one of the first words out of our mouth being “I…”
“I didn’t know…!” “I didn’t realize…!” “I do help…!” What if we could learn how to short circuit this whole process by learning to think of ourselves last, like Jesus did? What if instead of always looking for ways to defend ourselves, we focused more on the other person’s needs before ours? What if we became proactive in anticipating how to serve others more effectively rather than feeling the need for others to recognize our needs and to serve us?
I’m convinced this process begins in our submission to the will of God; our preeminent desire to put God first in our lives and allow Him to order our priorities. Here’s my disclaimer – I’m not there yet, but I’m learning. If I see dishes in the sink, I wash them. If I see a door left open, I close it. If I see my wife’s car needs gas, I go get it filled. The ways we can express love without an agenda are too numerous to list.
My wife and I joke that between us we have about half a memory. Usually, we don’t remember who did or didn’t do what, but what we’re learning is – it doesn’t matter. It’s not worth getting upset over. Love forgives and forgets (the forget part is getting easier for me 😊).
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 