“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” (Proverbs 18:13 NLT)
As easy as it is for me to write, it’s often very difficult for me to listen well. It’s not that I don’t hear the words, I’m just not very good at hearing what’s behind the words. The feelings, emotions, anguish, heartache, anger, hurt. Those things often escape me in my concerns for myself and my agenda. And if I’m honest, I’d have to say I really want to listen “with my whole face,” as my wife would say, but there are parts of me that just don’t know how to do that. Am I alone in this? Is it just me? I don’t think so.
Pastor Rick Warren has some very helpful words on this subject when he writes: “What people say in a conversation is not nearly as important as what they are feeling. Many times, someone is saying one thing and feeling another. If you’re going to be a great listener, then you need to look past people’s words, even when what they’re saying is offensive. Hurt people hurt people, and words are an effective weapon. When people lash out or get defensive, it’s often because they’re afraid, insecure, or frustrated.”
Am I alone in not knowing how to effectively interpret feelings? Perhaps it’s my Alzheimer’s, but I’m struggling with knowing how to interpret my own feelings. Sometimes I’m angry for no good reason, frustrated by how I feel, what I can’t do, what I’d like to do but have no motivation to do it. What do all of those things have in common?
They’re excuses we use to avoid what we know the Lord is telling us to do. My sense is the Lord puts people in our life to give us practice in listening so we can ultimately be a better listener to Him. How can we listen to the “still, small voice of God” if we’re not open to hearing the loud, obnoxious voice of the person standing in front of us?
If we can’t get past the tone of someone’s voice or the angry expression on their face to hear the pain in their heart, how will we ever quiet our heart and mind enough to hear from the Lord. And here’s the irony: how often is the Lord speaking THROUGH those people to whom we’re not listening? My sense is, if you’re reading these words, YOU CARE! You sincerely want to hear from God, to do the right thing, to listen carefully and respond appropriately, so, how can we improve, especially in our attentiveness to the Lord, but also to others?
The key in my understanding is first, to decide we really want to hear what the Lord and others are trying to say, but a close second would be, we need to discipline ourselves to keep our mouths closed and our minds open in the process. We must not be defensive, even if we’re feeling attacked. We can’t defend what we don’t understand, but we’ll never understand until we listen with more than our ears.
We must open our heart to the Lord and to that other person’s ideas and opinions, especially of us, allowing the Lord to enable us to evaluate ourselves objectively and be willing to allow Him to shape us more perfectly into His image, not simply a better version or ourselves. And not simply to please another person, but Him.
Holy Father, enable us by Your grace to be more like You in how we listen, how we love, how we think, reason, and respond. All of us have been hurt by others, but none as much as You. Teach us to love, forgive, and accept those who have hurt us, but also those whom we have hurt. In Your Name. Amen.
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 