“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT)
The last couple of days we’ve been looking at how to best honor the Lord when you have a believing spouse, but what if your husband or wife isn’t yet a Jesus follower? Do the “rules” change? Do you not love them if they’re your wife or not respect them if they’re your husband?
There is a very real sense in which love, and respect aren’t reserved just for those who follow the Lord. We loved family and friends before the Lord ruled our heart, so, presumably, love was present in the relationship before marriage.
As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 6:14, we shouldn’t marry someone who isn’t a believer, but it’s not unusual for one spouse to come to Christ before the other one. But regardless of how you came to be in the circumstance of being married to a nonbeliever, how should you treat them since you are a believer?
Loving and respecting our life’s partner shouldn’t be dependent upon whether they believe in Jesus or not, that’s our directive from Scripture regardless, but it may look differently. How so? One of the things I love about my wife and something I most enjoy doing with her is reading a daily devotion and praying together. That could be hard if your partner doesn’t believe.
They may feel threatened, like you’re trying to cram something down their throat if you press too hard. But if they’re open to sitting with you while you read a devotion or a portion of Scripture, then letting you pray, by all means do it. Give them the opportunity, if they’re willing, to give you requests or ask questions about what you read; however, please don’t use the Bible as a hammer to try to get them to comply with what you want them to do. It will only serve to push them further away.
Going to church together is another helpful step in the process, or going out socially with married friends who love Jesus and each other. In my mind there are very few things more impactful than a couple who has walked with the Lord together for many years. Their love is often tender and spontaneous in ways it takes years to develop.
Ideally, the closer we grow to the Lord, the more of His likeness is evidenced in our lives and the more authentically we can love those in our spheres of influence. The church my wife and I attend is warm, loving, and inviting. There is an environment there that begs for belonging, that’s like going home to family every week, and it’s felt that way since day one.
If you don’t have a church family like that, don’t give up looking because I know it exists. Some folks prefer smaller churches because they are supposedly more intimate and it’s easier to get to know one another. That can be true, and I hope it is if you attend a small church, but small churches can also be cliquish, cold, and unwelcoming, just as larger churches can be distant and uninviting.
The point is, love your husband or wife like you’d love any other person you’re wanting to see come to Christ. Don’t be artificial or fake, but genuinely love them as Christ loves you. If they’re antagonistic and defensive every time you try to speak about the Lord, continue to pray quietly and carefully live in a way that exalts Jesus and serves them in ways that will be hard for them to miss.
The adage: “Action speaks louder than words,” may never be more true than when seeking to love a spouse to Jesus. My love and prayers are with you!
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 
Thank you Ed for reminding me that I’m still on the right path concerning my wife.
LikeLiked by 1 person