Becoming the Right Person

“Together, we are His house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus Himself. We are carefully joined together in Him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord.” (Ephesians 2:20-21 NLT)

In nearly every situation in which we find ourselves, especially as it relates to learning to get along with another person(s), our mind seems locked on the idea that things would be a lot better if that other person would only change. Rarely, if ever, do we immediately see OUR need to change. Why is that? Largely because that’s the way we’re wired.

It’s so much easier to assign blame to someone else. “That’s YOUR problem” becomes our go to explanation whether in marriage, family, work, church, or neighbors. What’s the implication? “I’m perfect the way I am!” And the irony is, we know that’s not true and we’ll be the first to admit it, but when there’s conflict or a disagreement with someone, it seems we’re blinded to our own need to grow, mature, or improve.

What might that look like? What does becoming the right person look like in practical terms? Some possibilities would be things like taking a good look at ourselves. Admitting we all have weaknesses and blind spots, so, we seek to determine what and where they are. Ask questions like: “Why am I so defensive? Why is it so hard for me to be wrong? Why is it so difficult for me to stand up for myself? What is it about that other person that grates on my nerves? Why do I get so sensitive when someone brings up my job, kind of car I drive, where I work, where I live, where my kids go to school, etc.?

Part of it is personality, just the way God wired us, but some of it, likely most of it, is how we have learned to survive life being us. I’m not easily offended, but I used to be very interested in other’s opinions after I had given a message, especially when I was young. I didn’t see myself as a great preacher, not even a good preacher most of the time, but nonetheless, I didn’t like to be criticized.

Being an introvert, it was hard just to stand in front of people, but to feel like I was being judged with every word didn’t make it any easier. Then there was the issue of constantly doubting whether or not I even deserved to be talking to other people about how they should live; what makes me think I had any right to instruct others when I had plenty of issues of my own? There’s really only one reason.

Because that’s what God called me to do. So, the bottom line for each of us should become – what has the Lord called and equipped me to do? Then seeking with all that is within us to become the best us that we can possibly be. How will we know when we’re making progress? The Lord will affirm in undeniable ways when we’re moving in the right direction, but also when we’re not.

It’s humanly impossible to please everyone and is an act of futility to try, but there’s one Person we must prioritize in terms of pleasing. If there’s anyone we should seek to please, it’s Jesus. And my experience has been, when we’re living in a manner that pleases Him, we’re usually doing okay in getting along with others.

Yet, living closely to the Lord in the climate in which we live today, will automatically put us at odds with others, so, what are we to do? Put them in the Lord’s hands and move on. We shouldn’t purposely seek to be offensive to others, but when someone is offended because we belong to Jesus, that’s their problem, not ours.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊