“Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress. My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all! Feel my pain and see my trouble. Forgive all my sins. See how many enemies I have and how viciously they hate me! Protect me! Rescue my life from them! Do not let me be disgraced, for in You I take refuge. May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in You, O God, ransom Israel from all its troubles.” (Psalm 25:16-22 NLT)
Do you ever get lonely? Most often being lonely is more a mental state than a physical reality. We can be in a crowded room and still feel very alone. We can have lots of friends and acquaintances, yet still not feel a strong connection to any of them. Even family members, as important as they are, cannot always fill the void of closeness that we each seek and need. So, what’s the answer?
The short answer is intimacy with the Lord which fills every void and gives us a sense of belonging that no human relationship can give. Yet, the Lord realized that Adam, as perfect as he was, had a need for human companionship and love, so, He gave Adam a wife, Eve. Did that solve Adam’s problem of loneliness? On some levels it compounded it, but the point here is, loneliness isn’t going to find its resolve in any one person, even the Lord.
Ruth Graham gives us insight when she writes: “There’s no better place to discover the healthiest possible response to loneliness than the Word of God.” The Lord has a way of wrapping His holy arms of love around us as we embrace His Word and spend precious moments seeking Him through its pages. I think of Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28 when He said: “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” The Psalms are filled with invitations to rest, find hope, consolation, contentment, and peace.
An article in the Wall Street Journal a few years ago summed up their study by saying the most significant contributing factor for physical health, mental health, and longevity is close personal connections. If you want to make one decision to ensure your own health and happiness, thus, the antidote to loneliness, develop and build close relationships with a variety of people.
David Jeremiah adds: “Cast out the temptation to move from loneliness to self-pity. Use your lonely feelings to push you toward someone lonelier than you are. The God who blesses you will make you a blessing!” Here’s the irony, when we’re lonely, we most often like to be left alone. Rarely does our loneliness drive us to others, which is exactly where we need to be.
By the grace of God and with His help, we CAN move to community. Too often loneliness isn’t caused by being alone, but by being so wrapped up in ourselves it becomes difficult to let anyone else in. In my own life, the only cure for such blatant selfishness is forcing myself to include someone else, often by attending a small group meeting I didn’t “feel like” attending. Pushing others away begets loneliness and loneliness begets self-pity.
Too often we end up lonely because we push people away to the point no one wants to risk coming around us. Force yourself to risk asking someone to meet you for a meal or simply for a cup of coffee. Share how dreadful you feel and ask them to pray for you, but more importantly, ask them how they are. Ask them if you can pray for them.
Often the greatest cure for our loneliness is to enter into someone else’s pain. Perhaps it could be the Lord’s answer to your loneliness.
Food for thought.
Blessings, Ed 😊
Walking With Jesus 