Walking With Jesus

Why Is Temptation So Deadly?

“So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up in honor.” (James 4:7-10 NLT)

What tempts you most? Where is it in your life you find it most difficult to say “no?” How has Satan most effectively and consistently defeated you and caused you to sin when you absolutely knew it was wrong?

The word “temptation” as used in the Bible means: “an experiment, attempt, trial, proving. It’s the trial of man’s fidelity, integrity, virtue, constancy; an enticement to sin, whether arising from the desires or from the outward circumstances.” There’s much more, but you get the idea. Temptation isn’t sin but is the devil’s strategy to pull us away from God and into his demonic control resulting in sin.

David Jeremiah asked a pertinent question when he wrote: “How do we fight this ever-evolving virus of temptation? Stay close to the Great Physician!… Immerse yourself in God’s Word, talk to Him in prayer, confess your sins, consider Satan an enemy, and let Jesus Christ live His life through you by His Spirit more and more each day!”

Sounds good, and it is, but it’s not always as easy to do as we’d like to think. It’s a process and a constant battle, but, over time, it does get easier to recognize the enemy’s strategy and devise, with the Lord’s help, an effective defense. The Armor of God as outlined in Ephesians 6, gives us confidence in our ability to defeat Satan, but we can’t miss the most essential piece as outlined in the verses from James above. “So humble yourselves before God.”

Without humility we’ll begin to believe we’re enough in and of ourselves. The end of that fantasy is defeat and can lead us into sinning in ways that are literally life changing. Billy Sunday said: “Temptation is the devil looking through the keyhole. Yielding is opening the door and inviting him in.” What do you see when you look through the “keyhole?” I can tell you what you won’t see: a devil in a red suit with horns and holding a pitchfork.

You’ll see that for which your heart most longs apart from Christ, that for which, if you’re honest, is what you’re working hard to have. It won’t be the same for all of us, but for many it will be a shapely woman or a handsome man; a shiny new car or new, spacious house; a prestigious position or at least a job where we’ll be recognized and appreciated; a relationship with someone who will understand us, see through our idiosyncrasies and love us for who we want to be, which, ironically, very likely isn’t the person the Lord wants you to be.

You have to fill in your own blanks, but the point is, it will be something you strongly desire, but fear God will never allow you to have. That’s how Satan got Eve and Adam to cave, He offered them something they perceived God was keeping from them. And indeed, He was, not because He didn’t love them, but because He did.

Do you not understand that there are some potentially very good things that would destroy you? Fortune, fame, recognition, popularity, success – the list is nearly endless of the ways Satan could manipulate us and use the very thing we thought we most wanted to destroy us. That’s why temptation is so deadly.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

He Knows!

“Jesus replied, ‘If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask Me, and I would give you living water.” (John 4:10 NT)

In the conversation referenced above between Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well it quickly became apparent that (a) the woman didn’t have a clue who Jesus was, and (b) Jesus knew everything about her. Why is that important for us to know? Because for the most part, even as believers, we know very little about Jesus in comparison to all there is to know, and He knows more about us than we know about ourselves.

Implicit in that is the realization that there’s no such thing as a “secret” sin. We may think we’ve covered our proverbial “tracks,” because we’ve fooled our spouse, kids, and friends from church, but nothing is kept from the sight of the Savior. We can put on a happy face, maintain our consistency in worship and even in service at church or in the community, but that “secret” sin is eating us alive spiritually.

That’s what makes sin so vile and destructive. We try to live in ways that please us, but dishonor Jesus, all the while professing faith in Him, but living for the devil. To me there is no more fulfilling life than loving and serving Jesus, but life is so daily. What becomes habitual becomes comfortable, whether reading our Bible or checking out porn.

Lying, cheating, gossiping, lusting, coveting, and on and on it goes. The first time we sin it may be startling, but the 20^th time it becomes habit. Then one day we look in the mirror and we don’t like who’s looking back. How did we get here?

In Genesis 3:1 the Bible says that Satan “was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made.” These words of Scripture can be hard to interpret correctly until we realize that the author is using figures of speech. Satan wasn’t a wild animal, he was the wisest, most sensible, crafty, prudent, and subtle angel the Lord ever created, even after he fell.

When he came to Eve and Adam in the garden he didn’t slither up as a snake, he came as a brilliant light, creating a presence that would lead Eve to believe he was an angel. She was naïve, and why wouldn’t she be? She lived in the presence of perfection where everything was truth and light and love. How was she to know this angelic presence wasn’t a messenger from God Himself?

She should have known the same way we must know – Satan contradicted a clear directive of God. Satan asked the woman: “Did God really say…?” Anytime anyone or anything leads us to believe we must question the clear teaching of God’s Word, we need to run in the opposite direction. But we too often do exactly what Eve did, and fall for Satan’s subtleties, to the end we lose ground spiritually, but rather than confess our sin and seek forgiveness, we try to pretend it doesn’t really matter.

It becomes our little secret, but rather than staying hidden it creeps into every avenue of our lives, and before long our energy is expended just trying to keep our “secret” hidden. Listen child of God, here is a word from the Lord: “Come clean!” Confess your sin to God and to whomever else you need to confess. He knows! It has never been a secret to Him, and the longer you try to hide it the worse the outcome when the truth comes out – and it always does!

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

What’s the First Step?

“What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter. What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever. What sorrow for those who are heroes at drinking wine and boast about all the alcohol they can hold.” (Isaiah 5:20-22 NLT)

If only we were as good, smart, capable, attractive, spiritual, wise, and had it together as much as we thought we were and did. Being a Pastor was a privilege I never took lightly, but it was also a role that enabled me to keep who I was in clear focus.

There are basically two categories of people in any given church: those who are lost and those who are saved. But you also have those who are saved and fear they’re lost, and those who are quite confident they’re saved, but don’t have a clue as to what that means.

If we’re ever going to be effective in our walk with Jesus, the first step is to recognize who we are. We’re either going to see clearly that we’re a sinner who needs salvation, or a sinner who believes they’re okay the way they are. The first category has hope. The second category has no hope unless and until they see themselves for who they really are.

Derek Rishmawy said: “’Repent’ is how Jesus says ‘welcome’ to sinners in the Gospel.” Our best and only first step if we desire to have any kind of meaningful relationship with Jesus is to humbly bow at the Savior’s feet, recognize we’re a sinner in need of a Savior, then, by God’s grace and in His strength, determine to repent – turn from our sin and begin the lifelong journey of following the Lord Jesus.

God’s will for us is to be Christ’s disciple. What does that mean? It means basically two things. First, a disciple is a Jesus follower whose primary goal is to learn to be like Jesus. We can never accomplish that if we’re bent on doing our own thing. If we ever begin to believe we’ve got this discipleship thing mastered, that should be our first clue to rewind and start over.

The second part of being a disciple is teaching others what we’ve been taught. Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 2:2: “You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.” A disciple learns in order to teach others. But a critical piece of this process is, a disciple never stops learning.

You don’t have to be a college graduate to teach a first grader, you only need to be a second grader. As Jesus followers we pour into others what we’re learning. Have you learned to make reading the Bible and prayer a priority? Great! Teach someone else who’s just starting their walk with the Lord. Are you struggling? Does a Pug have a soft belly?

Of course, you’re struggling! We all struggle. Struggle is part of the DNA of being a believer. When you stop struggling, you’ll be in heaven. Thabiti Anyabwile wrote: “Sometimes we have to have more hope for people’s change than they have for themselves.” Another critical part of the Christian Faith is being in community.

There’s no such thing as a “lone ranger” believer. That’s why the Lord established His Church. If Satan can keep you alone it really doesn’t matter what you know, how smart you are, or how close you are to Jesus. If you’re not allowing others to speak into your life and you’re not speaking into someone else’s walk you’re right where Satan wants you. On some levels we never leave our “first step” of repentance. We continually seek to correct our course and stay close to Jesus while He’s ever so patiently instructing us in how to become more like Him – together!

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

A Slow Fade

“I am warning you ahead of time, dear friends. Be on guard so that you will not be carried away by the errors of these wicked people and lose your secure footing.” (2 Peter 3:17 NLT)

Losing our footing spiritually is much like losing our footing while walking or hiking. It’s not deliberate and often happens unexpectedly. As a rule, we don’t get out of bed one day and say or think: “Today I’m going to lose my spiritual footing and slide away from the Lord.”

Like so many other things, we have good intentions and a strong desire to keep going, but we miss a day, then two, then before long we can’t remember the last time we did them. It’s like that with spiritual disciplines like church attendance, serving, reading the Bible, praying, fasting, and witnessing. It’s not like we deliberately leave them, it just happens by default.

Casting Crowns sings a song called “It’s a Slow Fade,” the last verse of which says: “The journey from your mind to your hands Is shorter than you’re thinking Be careful if you think you stand You just might be sinking.” Then the chorus says: “It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid When you give yourself away People never crumble in a day It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade.”

My mom was an alcoholic when I was a child, but she didn’t become one overnight. It began with a single drink. It’s the same for those addicted to drugs, sex, pornography, or anything else, but the irony is, that’s not how you get free of those addictions. You’ve got to decide to be done with them, then get the help you need to stop.

We don’t, with rare exception, have the wherewithal to stop our addictions. We need help, often from professionals trained to deal with our specific issues, but always with someone who loves and will walk with us through the terrors of withdrawal.

Lisa Lakey, a writer with Family Life, wrote: “Even simple conversation took a hit. Days would go by without meaningful talks between the two of us. We were slowly drifting away from each other. The worst part? We didn’t even notice. It’s a slow fade from connect to disconnect in marriage. It takes effort for couples to stay connected emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Disconnecting is easy—it sneaks up on you while you’re busy doing life.”

We cannot, we must not allow our love for Jesus to go into default mode. He will never walk away from us, but we can, inadvertently, sometimes without conscious thought, drift away from Him. That’s why it’s so critical to have brothers (if you’re a man) or sisters (if you’re a woman) to hold us accountable. We need people in our lives to ask us the hard questions. Questions like: “How are things with your spouse?” “How are your spiritual disciplines going?” “What’s going on, I haven’t seen you in group lately?” “Have you been drinking/gambling/watching porn/etc.”

Far too often, while we may not desire it to happen, we lose our connection to the Lord, not because He’s left us – He never will – but because we got lazy, distracted by work, play, kids, life! If we’re married we’ve all seen it happen in our walk with our spouse. We have to determine to hold one another accountable to do what’s healthy for our relationship, but beyond that, to do what’s right in our walk with the Lord.

We can’t afford to get lazy and risk beginning a slow fade that can rob us of our closeness and usefulness to the Lord.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

What Will You Allow God to Do?

“Next the devil took Him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. ‘I will give it all to you,’ he said, ‘if you will kneel down and worship me.’” (Matthew 4:8-9 NLT)

If you want all the glory the world has to offer all you have to do is kneel down and worship Satan. And remember, that’s not necessarily the posture of your body as much as it’s the posture of your heart and mind. Worship isn’t defined by what comes out of our mouth, but what resides in our heart. Many today revere God with their words but are devoted to Satan in their heart. How about you?

What are you willing to allow God to do in and through your life? What has He asked of you that you haven’t done? Where is He directing you to go that you haven’t gone? What has He asked you to give up that you’re still doing or holding on to? Who has He asked you to speak with about Him, but it hasn’t happened yet?

Just like Adam and Eve in the garden we have free will. It is our choice alone that determines who will rule and reign in our heart and mind. But because of their sin and our human nature with its undeniable bent to sin that we inherited from Adam and Eve, we now must make the conscious decision to choose Jesus to be our Lord and Master. Our default position as a human being is to choose our way, not God’s way.

Perhaps you’ve asked God something like: “Lord, what do You want from me? What do You want me to do, say, think, etc. in any given situation?” And the irony is, He’s made known the answers to those and many other questions, crystal clear in the Bible, His holy Word. What He wants is YOU: your allegiance, your obedience, your devotion, your desires, ambitions, in short, your will! He wants your will to equal His will – to be one and the same.

The Lord’s desire is to create you anew through the power of His Spirit when you yield your will to Him. Paul addresses this in 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 when he wrote: “So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know Him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

Submission to Christ’s authority isn’t captivity, it’s liberation! How so? Knowing Jesus and following His commands and directives is the only path to becoming who we were created to become. Satan robs us of creativity and the full development of the person God created us to be. He seeks to keep us focused on material things that have no eternal value, rather than the Lord Jesus who modeled for us what it means to be truly alive.

God’s will and desire for you is to become the person He created you to be, but the only way that can happen is if you give Him permission. So, I’m back to my original question: “What Will You Allow God to Do?” Will you allow Him to save you, transform you, guide, guard, and hold you? Will you allow the Lord Jesus to cherish you as His child, equip you to be more than you ever dared dream you could be, and gain glory through your submission to His authority in your life?

When your will becomes His will, you’ll see Him in a whole new light. Reading, studying, memorizing God’s Word won’t be a chore, but a delight; prayer will become your lifeline, and serving in a local body of believers will become the joy you never dreamed it could be. Your whole life’s orientation will be to see your loved ones, friends, neighbors, and others He puts in your path, come to Him and begin their life’s journey to heaven.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

Seven Fold Blessing

“…the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name” (Eph. 3:14-15)

*May this powerful devotional by Sylvia Gunter guide us as we seek to understand what spiritual blessings are now ours through Jesus Christ our Lord. Blessings, Ed (used with permission)

Spiritual blessings begin with a revelation of God as Abba Father. Be blessed with a love relationship with Him. He wants you to know Jesus personally and grow in Him. Be blessed to desire righteousness that conforms you to the will and ways of God. He wants to give you holy joy in abiding in Him.

Be blessed with emotional blessings. Jesus is your healer of emotions. He releases healing to remove rejection, failure, and shame. Choose forgiveness for yourself and others. Be blessed with peace and joy to replace fear and anxiety (Matt. 10:13) because God never fails. In Him you can have strong hope to believe Him for His promises.

Be blessed with knowing your personal value in Christ. You are of great worth to your heavenly Father. Let Him show you how He sees you in His Son. Receive His favor and His heart for you.

Be blessed with right relationships with others. Let God direct you to right loyalties and wholesome friendships that encourage your life with Him. May you live in healthy community with others.

Be blessed with mental blessing to remove blinders of deception from your mind, so that you will know the truth and have godly wisdom and discernment, knowing good and doing it.

Be blessed with God’s health and safety for all physical needs. Lean into God’s strength and protection.

Be blessed in all your labors that God has authored. May your work or studies prosper in the provision of His hands. Acknowledge that He is your source and provider.

I pray blessings. I speak blessings. I choose to be a blessing.

Taken from Blessings For Life: Words Of Hope and Healing p. 22, © 2017 by Sylvia Gunter and Elizabeth Gunter. Click here to learn more and order. An archive of past devotionals is available at www.thefathersbusiness.com

A Fresh Look at Repentance

“Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.” (Matthew 3:8 NLT)

Repentance is a multi-dimensional process. Have you ever been on a road trip and well into your journey you realize you are going the wrong way? If you’re adventuresome you may blow it off and keep going, but usually we have a destination and we’re bent on getting there. Repentance is like that.

Many alive today have no clue where they’re headed. They just get up and do what they do, go to bed, then get up and do it all again. Same thing, just a different day. Repentance is looking around and realizing: “Whatever I’m doing isn’t working, so, I’m going to make a change.” To repent means to change your mind, then to change your direction.

No one changes the direction of their life without first changing their mind. You may know intellectually that something is drastically wrong, but until you decide to do something about it, nothing changes. That’s what it means to repent.

It’s a military term that paints the picture of a soldier making an “about-face.” They’re marching in one direction, then, upon command, they go in the opposite direction. What are the implications? Heaven and hell are not reached by going in the same direction. We may reach hell by default, by making no specific decision, simply continuing to do what we’ve always done. But to reach heaven requires an informed decision to yield our life and allegiance to Jesus.

The goal of repentance is to introduce us to Jesus, leading us in the formulation of a new direction in our life, but ultimately to lead us to an eternal home in heaven. We have a new destination – heaven, but the pathway is Jesus. John 14:6 teaches us that Jesus “is the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me.”

The Christian life is a purposeful, intentional journey that requires guidance by the Holy Spirit, and focus on Jesus. The logical question then becomes: “How do I get to heaven? What signposts do I look for? How do I know I’m going in the right direction?” The simple answer is: “Follow Jesus!” But in practical terms what does that look like? How can we know for sure we’re following Him and not our own inclinations?

Repentance isn’t a one-time decision, it’s an ongoing heart attitude demanding discipline, flexibility, and a willingness to confess our failures, get up and carry on. Just because we’ve made a decision to allow the Lord to turn our life around, doesn’t mean Satan’s going to stop trying to influence us to follow him. Sin is a very real presence as long as we live, but the Holy Spirit is our constant Friend who will guide and protect us against the enemy of our soul.

Kevin DeYoung wrote: “Repentance is more than a repeated apology.” As a rule, each Jesus follower is plagued by some specific “weight” that becomes for us our “sin of choice.” Often our sin of choice becomes habitual and over time we tend to expect to do whatever it is, even though we know it’s wrong and is keeping us from being fully engaged in our walk with the Lord.

It can, as DeYoung implies, become a repeated action that leads to repeated “apologies” to God. But over time our habitual disobedience to God can become so familiar, rather than repenting (turning from our sin), we begin to embrace it and in some twisted way, believe the Lord is okay with it. He’s not! And until we face the truth that our sin is driving a wedge between us and God, we’ll never repent, put it behind us and move into a consistent life of holiness and devotion to Christ.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

Who’s Poorer?

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I’ll say it again – it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!’” (Matthew 19:23-24 NLT)

Is Jesus saying here that it is impossible for a person of wealth to enter the Kingdom of God? I certainly hope not, because on world standards Americans who are counted among the poorest are still rich.

In Jesus’ day many larger communities were walled with gates. After dark the gates were closed, but within many gates were smaller doors called “the eye of the needle,” through which a camel could enter, but without its load. Jesus isn’t saying it’s impossible for the rich to be saved, but it’s highly unlikely due to their allegiance to their riches.

What comes to your mind when you think of “riches?” Years ago, it was rare to find a person who generated more than a million dollars a year. Today there are a growing number of billionaires who own companies worth trillions of dollars. And how has all of that money profited the world?

Gratefully there are those who invest their wealth in humanitarian and even spiritual causes. But, on the other hand, who do you think funds the illegal drug market, sex trafficking, prostitution, arms used to slaughter millions of innocent people, and many other God-dishonoring enterprises? Rich people too often have “rich taste” that includes the degradation of children and adults against their will.

It causes me to ponder the ways that I overlook the poor, hungry, and destitute in my spheres of influence. Am I unable to get through “the eye of the needle” because of the burden of my riches? Satan’s strategy is to keep us focused on “them,” with the express intent to keep our eyes off our own hypocrisy in the ways we misuse the “riches” with which the Lord has blessed us.

Billy Sunday said: “The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money is poorer still.” The longer I walk with the Lord the richer I realize I am. But I also realize how indebted I am to my Savior. If you want to measure how rich you actually are, calculate what will be in heaven when you get there. What is the “treasure” you’re accruing in heaven?

Certainly, the souls of the people we’re leading to and influencing to follow the Lord, but what about the things that can’t be calculated by human measurements? The kind words spoken – to a child, a homeless person, a grieving parent, a struggling teen, someone doing a menial task. How about the person in whom you invest time, not for something you can get, but simply for the vital contribution you can make in their lives?

How about the hours you invest in volunteering at your church or community ministry that feeds and clothes those who can’t afford to provide those things for themselves. I think of the ministries of churches of which I’ve been a part and the selflessness of those who have and are giving time, money, and effort for no other reason than to glorify God and help those who can’t help themselves.

Do you not realize the Creator of the universe keeps a record of every one of those precious moments? Riches entail so much more than dollars and cents, just as poverty of soul involves so much more than a singular focus on the accumulation of wealth.

In my mind the poorest person isn’t the one who has no wealth, it’s the one who has no need of a Savior. “Holy Father, glorious Savior, powerful Spirit, enable us by your richness and indwelling presence to reach those in our spheres of influence who are so desperately in need of You!”

Blessings, Ed 😊

Does Worship Bore You?

“All the nations You made will come and bow before You, Lord; they will praise Your holy name. For You are great and perform wonderful deeds. You alone are God.” (Psalm 86:9-10 NLT)

Worship is the one thing that human beings can do that gives them opportunity to distinguish themselves from all the other creatures God placed on this earth, yet, among all of God’s creation we’re most reluctant to do so. Why is worship of the Lord God Almighty so foreign to us?

Because it’s contrary to our human nature. Humans, for all their positive qualities, have a love affair with themselves. While worship is second nature to us, it takes a spiritual heart transplant to give us insight into Whom we should be worshipping and why.

Worship is common among virtually every people group. Often, worship ceremonies are a means of either giving thanks for provision or in preparation for the procurement of food, either through crops or hunting. Perhaps a carry over in current societies, especially in the Christian Faith, is giving thanks before a meal.

For centuries worship has been accompanied by music and or dancing, and has been a communal event, often involving many participants. What many churches have done with worship is to make it more performance oriented, to be led by the “experts,” which has served to destroy much of the purpose of worship, make it exclusive rather than inclusive, and allow it to become boring.

One of the many things I appreciate about our church is that the musicians and vocalists don’t see themselves as “performers,” but prompters. While they are excellent, they don’t point the spotlight of attention on themselves, but often remind us that they, with each person present, are the worshippers, and there’s only One person in the audience – the Holy God who deserves all praise, adoration, and worship.

Corporate worship is the highlight of my week, but I have time set aside everyday and throughout my day to worship the Lord individually and with my wife. God’s Word and prayer are key elements in my and our times of worship, but another key that is, at least for me, the most enjoyable, is listening.

Jesus said: “My sheep listen to My voice, I know them, and they follow Me.” A.W. Tozer wrote: “The fellowship of God is delightful beyond all telling.” Listening isn’t something I do intuitively. Just ask my wife. I struggle to listen well. One thing that has been helpful for me to understand is that listening and hearing are two very different things.

Often, I will turn on Christian music when I’m working on a project in the garage, and I’ll enjoy the music, but I often don’t pay a lot of attention to the words. And I suspect I’m not alone in that. Unfortunately, we often do the same thing in conversation, but especially when listening to a message. And I intentionally didn’t use the word “sermon.”

When the Pastors of the church of which I’m a part speak, I listen. Why? Because they don’t preach sermons, they deliver messages from God. You can see for yourself at hopechurchlv.com/watch. You can watch services live on Thursday evenings at 6:30 and Sunday mornings at 8:30 and 10:30. Special Christmas services will be on Thursday, December 21^st at 6:30 p.m. and on Sunday morning, December 24^th at 8:30, 10:30 and 12:30 pacific time.

In my humble opinion the only way anyone could be bored with worship is if they haven’t met the King of kings and Lord of lords. To know Jesus is to love to worship Him.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

Are You Angry?

“Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.” (James 1:20-21 NLT)

May I confess that emotional intimacy is very difficult for me. Whether I blame it on genetics, past hurts, or something else is irrelevant, it still makes it hard when my wife asks, “Why are you upset?” And while I know it frustrates her to hear me say, “I don’t know,” it frustrates me even more.

That’s why Andy Allan’s words in a Family Life devotional really spoke to me: “When it comes to emotional intimacy, I’ve found myself similarly limited. When my wife asks, ‘How are you feeling?’ my sentence starts with ‘I feel’ but usually ends with ‘…like taking a nap,’ ‘… eating Taco Bell,’ or ‘…punching the wall.’

Emotions serve as signposts pointing to deeper realities within us. Like when I’m mad as I wash dishes, muttering about how dirty our kitchen is and clanking plates at earsplitting levels. My wife knows I’m angry (the neighbors must know, too). When she asks, ‘What are you mad about?’ I’ll respond with ‘I’m not angry,’ in my best Clint Eastwood impression.

At some level, I know I’m angry but don’t want to admit it. But I need to see through my feelings to what caused them and go from there. If I pause to process, dirty dishes accuse me of failure. ‘If you were a better man,’ their crumbs shout, ‘we’d be clean by now.’ A dirty kitchen makes me feel like I don’t measure up, and I’m filled with anger at myself.

James 1:20 says, ‘the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God’ It produces quite the opposite, causing stress and turmoil from the kitchen to the bedroom and everywhere in between. Examining the belief underneath my anger, especially alongside my wife, has been so helpful. She doesn’t judge me by how quickly our plates are cleaned, and she reminds me God doesn’t either.”

As I age, gratefully it’s not as prevalent, but in my younger years I found myself angry and I genuinely didn’t understand why. Does that ever happen to you? At first I would try to brush it off and ignore it, but then I began to seek, with the Lord’s help, to process it in a healthy way. I’ve been able to share some with my wife, which is helpful, but the bottom line for me is that it’s a distraction from the enemy of my soul.

It’s easy for us to blame ourselves for not only our failures, but for the person we’ve become. In our mind and heart, we never quite measure up to that person we envisioned we’d one day be, or, perhaps, who we thought everyone else wanted or needed us to be. It’s a weight too heavy to carry when we keep piling on, not only our own expectations, but the expectations of others. It will literally kill us. It’s unbearable.

That’s why the Lord has made a way of escape for us. It’s called grace. It’s the free, undeserved, unmerited favor of God where He takes our sin, our shame, our unrealistic expectations, and places them on Himself. That’s what He did on the Cross and that’s where we need to leave them.

Are you angry? Join the club! We should be angry at the enemy for holding over our heads all the things the Lord died to free us of, including our sense of self-loathing for not being who we thought we should be. What comforts me, and I pray comforts you, is that we’re the apple of God’s eye just as we are. He made us the way we are for a very specific purpose: So, we’d learn to depend solely on Him, not on ourselves.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊