Walking With Jesus

Why Are You Crying? (Part 2)

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15 NLT)

In yesterday’s post we looked at crying in the context of our sin and essentially asked the question: “Is our crying the result of being caught in our sin, or because our sin grieves the heart of God; are we unhappy about the consequences of our sin we have to face or are we disappointed in ourselves and desiring to move beyond our sin to become more like Christ?”

The truth is there are a lot of reasons we cry, not necessarily because of our own sin, but because of the fact we’re a part of the human family. We rightly cry when a loved one dies, a friend loses someone or has to deal with a sickness or disease, or when someone close to us loses their job or suffers loss in other ways.

Just as it’s appropriate and common to rejoice with those who have good fortune – birthdays, graduations, promotions, etc., it’s also right and befitting to cry with those who are having difficulty and experiencing tragedy. These things won’t happen in heaven, but we experience them on earth because of the fall of Adam and Eve.

We may live in this world of evil but, as believers in Jesus, this is not our home. Our home is in heaven where everything will be perfect. There will be no sin, thus, no reason to be afraid of calamity or harm. There will be no fear or needs of any kind. Life will be filled with joy and celebration because there will never be a circumstance that isn’t motivated by and filled with love.

But that’s not life on earth. Here, because of our corporate sin as a human family, we face fear, death, defilement of unspeakable measures. As I write today it’s in the wake of Hamas’ attacks on Israel and the murder and capture of civilians against whom have been committed unbelievable atrocities. And the agony and torment that is added to the suffering is its acceptance and support from many across our world, even in the U.S.

It reminds me of Jesus’ words in John 16:20: “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to Me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy.” We agonize over many things with which we have to deal as human beings, but as believers in the risen Christ, one day, sooner than any of us can imagine, we’ll stand in awe in the presence of our reigning King Jesus, celebrating His victory over sin, death, and the grave forever.

A Christian brother and his wife recently had to make the decision to allow life support to be removed from their severely injured daughter, the agony of which I can’t begin to imagine. Their tears will one day be dried, the heartbreak that accompanies them, will one day be healed, and their faith rewarded. Many things we experience in this life aren’t designed to make us bitter, but to enable us to become more like Jesus.

The writer of the Hebrew letter reminds us in 5:7-8: “While Jesus was here on earth, He offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue Him from death. And God heard His prayers because of His deep reverence for God. Even though Jesus was God’s Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered.”

Regardless of the cause of your tears, know this – if your heart beats to bring pleasure to Jesus, one day all your suffering will come to an eternal end, the bliss of your new environment will erase every trace of whatever suffering you have experienced on this earth, and every tear will be wiped from your eyes. Be comforted by that hope and share it with others as our lives on earth are being drawn rapidly to a close.

“Even so, come, Lord Jesus!”

Blessings, Ed 😊

Why Are You Crying?

“A funeral procession was coming out as He approached the village gate. The young man who had died was a widow’s only son, and a large crowd from the village was with her. When the Lord saw her, His heart overflowed with compassion. ‘Don’t cry!’ He said. Then He walked over to the coffin and touched it, and the bearers stopped. ‘Young man,’ He said, ‘I tell you, get up.’ Then the dead boy sat up and began to talk! And Jesus gave him back to his mother.” (Luke 7:12-15 NLT)

Unless we’ve experienced a similar miracle, we can only begin to imagine the elation and joy that would fill our lives.

The doctor who told me of my then 16-year-old son’s leukemia said later that she was surprised that I showed so little emotion. She couldn’t see what was flooding my heart and mind. The only person I’d ever known who had leukemia was a friend in eighth grade who lived about six months.

When I heard the doctor’s words, it was as if she was stabbing me in the heart, pronouncing a death sentence over my son. I was in shock and disbelief, but beyond that, I guarded my emotions in an effort to protect my son. The doctor didn’t see me moments later in a closet agonizing in spirit, sobbing uncontrollably, begging God to give me cancer instead of my son.

But what grabs my attention in the above passage isn’t the anticipated response of the mother and her friends, but of the Lord Himself. It doesn’t specifically say that He wept, but the word used conveys His agony of spirit as He immediately made the decision to end this mother’s heartache and misery by bringing her son back to life.

It brought to my remembrance the many times tears have been caused by my own terminal disease. It’s called sin. How many times I’ve disobeyed God, resulting in weeping and begging God to forgive me, but mostly to change the series of events I set in motion by me sin. John Piper wrote: “Many people weep at the consequences of sin who still love the sin.”

Our love affair with our own sin is a hard relationship to end. All seems good and right, until we’re caught or the stench of our disobedience to the Lord becomes obvious to others. Then we’re begging God to forgive and change us – until the dust settles and the “heat” of our sin subsides. Then it becomes “business as usual” until the next time we’re called out by God or someone else in our life.

Some reading this may wonder what the big deal is. We’re sinners, so why the fuss? Isn’t sin what we do? Isn’t sin our constant companion in this life? Yes, of course it is, but we have a choice as to whether we give in to Satan’s demands or not. John wrote in 1 John 2:1: “My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ the One who is truly righteous.”

Yes, of course, the Lord will forgive us, but on some levels it’s like our child asking to borrow the car, then taking it out and deliberately wrecking it. The first time we forgive, but if it continues, we will forgive, but unless we have a limitless income or we’re out of our minds, we’ll revoke their driving privileges.

To believe we can sin without consequence is to not understand the Scriptures and the basis of our relationship with God. John continues in verses 3-6: “And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments. If someone claims, ‘I know God,’ but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him.”

Let’s look at this from another angle in tomorrow’s post. And so you know, the Lord spared my son’s life. Today he’s 48 years old and the father of my only grandchild.

Blessings, Ed 😊

Sweaty or Sweet?

“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT)

What is the worst, foulest, most offensive odor you’ve ever smelled? For me it was a visit to a rendering plant! I went to see someone, but I could hardly breathe it was so rank. Do you realize that the way we treat someone leaves a lasting aroma? Not that they can necessarily smell with their nose, but that leaves an indelible effect on their soul.

The Apostle Paul reminds us in the verses above that our responsibility as a Jesus follower is to love others, “following the example of Christ.” Have you ever wondered what love had to do with aroma? What about children who have a special “blankie?” Or a pet that gravitates to the same pillow or chair. Why? Could it be the aroma reminds them of something that brings peace, comfort, or assurance emotionally? A place of safety and security?

Have you ever met or been in the presence of someone who made such a strong impression you didn’t want your time with them to ever end? I once heard Charles (“Chuck”) Colson speak and I was mesmerized. His presentation was about an hour long, but it seemed to me like five minutes. On the other hand, I’ve heard people speak for five minutes that seemed like an hour.

What makes the difference? What’s the appeal of one over the other? Ron Hutchcraft wrote: “The fact is, we all give off some kind of fragrance with the way we treat people, and the way we handle stress, and whether we make people feel more or less important, whether we bring sunshine into a situation or clouds. This would be a good day for you to evaluate: what kind of trail, what kind of life-fragrance do I leave?

Whether we’re sweaty or sweet smelling is secondary to the impression we make on others. Having watched many episodes of The Chosen, it caused me to wonder how Jesus smelled after hours of healing and preaching under the hot sun. Is there any indication in all of Scripture that people cared how He smelled?

But imagine the “aroma” of His presence as He touched and healed the leper; opened the eyes of the blind; gave voice to the voiceless; and hope to the hopeless! Consider those to whom He spoke words of life, those who were struggling to validate their existence, or healed children of parents for whom Jesus was their only hope.

There was a Christian singing group in the 70’s that traveled widely. I had the privilege of having them come to an event I helped plan, so I got to meet the director. I’ve never smelled such horrible breath, but it didn’t hinder his effectiveness in leading the singing group. What’s my point?

As children of God, we should always present ourselves in the best possible way, but even if we smell like a fresh cut flower, if our heart is dark and “smelly,” that will matter more to the people with whom we have contact than our words. A good guide to lead us in how to treat another person is the fruit of the Spirit. Are we conveying with our words and our life the fragrance of “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

Scripture Prayers For Loved Ones

“I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.” (Philippians 1:9 NLT)

*May this powerful devotional by Sylvia Gunter guide us as we learn to pray more effectively for those we love the most. Blessings, Ed (used with permission)

One of the best ways we can pray for those we love is by praying God’s Word for them. Paul wrote these words for people He dearly loved in Ephesus, Philippi, and Thessalonica. They reflect God’s heart for all of us.

Ephesians 1:17-23

Glorious Father, I thank you for (my loved one), and I bless them. I ask You to give (my loved one) the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that (my loved one) may know You better.

Enlighten the eyes of (my loved one’s) heart, so that they may know

• the hope to which You have called them,

• the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints,

• and Your incomparably great power for them because they believe, the power of the resurrection and the ascension which seated Jesus at Your right hand where He is above all rule and authority, and power and dominion in this world, and all things are under His feet.

• Fill (my loved one) with all the fullness of Jesus in every way today.

Philippians 1:9-11

I pray that (my loved one’s) love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight,

that (my loved one) may be able to discern what is best, and

that (my loved one) may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,

that (my loved one) will be filled with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

God, I pray that You will count (my loved one) worthy of Your calling, that by Your power You may fulfill every good purpose in (my loved one’s) life and every act prompted by their faith. I pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in (my loved one), and they in You, according to Your grace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

For archive of past devotionals:www.thefathersbusiness.com

What Is Meditation?

“Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” (Joshua 1:8 NLT)

Would you like to prosper and succeed in all you do? What’s it worth to you?

The word translated “Meditate” in the verse above can also mean: “to roar, growl, groan, muse, imagine.” It’s a word used often in the Psalms, but only once in the writings of Paul.

In 1 Timothy 4:14-16 Paul writes to young Timothy: “Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecy spoken over you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you. Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you.”

Why is meditation on the Scriptures so vitally important? Largely because what we think about comes about! If we casually read the Bible or only entrust to our memory what others say about the Bible, we’re not only hurting ourselves and stunting our own spiritual growth, but the spiritual growth of those over whom we have influence.

To teach a class or even another person what I’ve dug out of a commentary or heard in a sermon is to violate the instruction of Scripture. To meditate is to personally wrestle with the meaning of a word, text, or passage until the Lord reveals its meaning.

Have you ever prayed so passionately that your words got entangled with the groanings of your soul? Have you ever pondered a verse or passage until your mind took you to a place you couldn’t have previously imagined? You gained insight you’d never had before?

Listen to Rick Warren’s explanation of meditation: “Here’s how it works: Cows eat the grass, chew it up, and send it to their stomachs pretty quickly. There it lies in the stomach, soaking up all of those acids and chemicals. Then, after a while, the cow burps it back up with a new and renewed flavor, chews on that grass and some other grass, and then does the whole process over again. Cows repeat this several times. They get every ounce of nutrition out of the grass.

Biblical meditation is kind of like that; it’s thought digestion. God wants you to get every ounce of spiritual nutrition out of his Word. He wants you to chew on it, digest it, and then chew on it some more. Give it a try today. Don’t just read God’s Word, but take time to chew on it—to meditate.”

The prosperity and success of which Joshua speaks in the verse above doesn’t have reference to the trinkets of this world, but the gems of wisdom and insight that can only be gained by those who pay the price to “chew” on God’s Word until the meaning and application become clearly defined in our heart and mind.

That’s so important because as believers we’re to base our lives on God’s Word, so to misunderstand or misinterpret what it says is to risk, not only going in a wrong direction in our own lives, but leading others down that same wrong path.

Meditation is our lifeline to spiritual maturity, thus maximizing our giftedness to the benefit of others and to the glory of God.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

When True Faith Begins

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT)

What disturbs you most about yourself?

The prayer of the Psalmist above is a prayer I often pray, but why? Probably because I’m too often unable to see myself for who I really am. I’m tempted, as I suspect you are, to be too easy on myself. The word above that the Psalmist prayed, that is translated “Search,” is a word that means “to examine thoroughly; to be searched out, be found out, be ascertained.”

No one can know us as thoroughly or see our heart as clearly as our heavenly Father. Why is that so important to know? Because until we put ourselves prostrate before the Lord and in sincerity and genuine desire ask Him to search us, we’ll never know who we really are, thus, never be equipped to live a life that is pleasing to Him.

“Test,” as used in the verse above, means to scrutinize our anxious, disturbing thoughts. These are the things we think about that only God knows; they’re the kinds of thoughts that cause us to ask ourselves: “how can I even claim to be a child of God and think such things!” These are the things that tempt us to walk away from God, giving up on ourselves because we can’t imagine how God could love us or ever forgive us.

It’s easy to walk with God when faith is new and forgiveness is easy, but over time you come to a point, as the Apostle Paul revealed in Romans 7:24, when he cried out: “Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?” And don’t misunderstand, he’s not speaking of the quality of his outward life, but the hauntings of his heart.

He understood, as we all must, that regardless of how long we’ve walked with the Lord, we will never attain a righteousness of our own; our lives will never be perfect, unstained by the sins of which we’re capable given the right set of circumstances. Yes, of course, God views us through the lens of Christ’s perfection, but our minds never cease to accuse us and seek to debilitate our efforts to live pleasingly before the Lord.

But having said that, once we realize that “apart from Jesus we can do nothing and are nothing,” we’re liberated to live a life we never dreamed we could. Prayer is a pleasure we pursue without reservation; serving Him in whatever capacity becomes a joy; pain, sorrow, suffering become invited guests that reveal His presence in fuller measures than we ever imagined.

George Müller, a man of great faith for whom God answered prayer in miraculous ways, wrote: “The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.” The greatest battlefield of our lives as believers is our mind. If Satan can occupy your mind with trivialities, he’ll rob your soul of peace and fill your heart with anxious thoughts and attitudes that will cripple your usefulness for God.

What disturbs me most about myself is my seeming relentless drive to see the worst in myself, thus expecting less of myself than God’s best. True faith, as Müller uses it, isn’t some high and lofty position that we at some point reach where nothing bothers us, or we become oblivious to the troubling things around us. Quite to the contrary, it’s a faith that sensitizes us to the ever-presence of God’s Spirit guiding, teaching, helping, sustaining us in ways that are uncommon, even among professing believers.

It’s a peace that is unexplainable because our confidence isn’t in ourselves or our own resources, but in the unseen hand that is always with us, for us, and gaining glory through us, not so people can make much of us, but much of the One who owns our heart and life.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

The Story of Sage Blair

*This article by John Stonestreet and Kasey Leander is disturbing, and I wrestled with whether to share it, but this is a very real issue that many of us simply have our heads in the sand regarding. Please read carefully and prayerfully. These are the kinds of articles that appear regularly on Breakpoint and I encourage you to check them out by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page. Blessings, Ed)

Fourteen-year-old Sage Blair had already been through a lot by the time she was legally adopted by her grandparents. When she entered high school, she began to experiment, as many of her friends were, with her “gender identity.” All the while, the school deliberately withheld information from her adoptive parents. Sage was encouraged to adopt the name “Draco,” claim male pronouns, and use the boys’ bathroom. Only after Sage was physically assaulted by a group of boys in the bathroom did her parents find out what was happening.

Sage ran away. After connecting with an online “friend,” she was drugged, trafficked, and sexually exploited. Nine days later, she was located by the FBI in Baltimore.

Testifying before a House subcommittee in Virginia, Michele Blair remembered the drive to pick up her daughter, only to find out that she and her husband had been summoned before a Maryland judge for their refusing to support their daughter’s transition.

They didn’t even tell Sage that we came for her. … We finally enter the courtroom, and Sage appears on a huge Zoom screen from a prison cell. She looks tiny and broken, and I cry out, “I love you, Sage!” Sage responds, “I love you too, Nana!”

Sage’s state-appointed attorney rebuked Michele, saying “She is he, and his name is Draco, not Sage.” The judge then accused the Blairs of emotional and physical abuse, though, in Michele’s words,

We just learned she claim[ed] to be trans and were willing to use any name and pronouns to bring her home. My husband was so tearful, he kept forgetting the new pronouns. So, the judge had the bailiff remove him from the courtroom.

I was pleading for my child to be returned and treated for her unspeakable trauma. Judge Kershaw told me if I used the word trauma again, he would throw me out too.

Judge Kershaw withheld custody from Sage’s parents for over two months. During that time, Sage was transferred to a state facility for boys where, again, she was sexually abused. She ran away again and, once again, became a victim of human trafficking. When she resurfaced months later, in Texas, she was returned to Virginia where she spent more months in a court-appointed mental health clinic. The counselors at this center pushed her toward a double mastectomy as a solution for her mental health issues.

Nearly a year after the ordeal began, Sage was allowed to come home. Her parents were vindicated after a months-long state inquiry concluded that there was no evidence of abuse on their part. For Sage, however, the damage was done. Now with the loving support of her parents and having desisted from her trans identity, she still suffers from severe anxiety, panic attacks, and medical issues resulting from all she has suffered.

The most damning part of Sage’s story is how tragically predictable all of it was once the state chose to ignore decades of research, the entire weight of human experience, common sense, and the rights of parents to their children. In no way should it be said that Sage “fell through the cracks.” When dealing with ideologies that deny reality, failures are features, not glitches.

Still, Sage’s example is about as plain as any of how trans ideology destroys our most essential relationships: of a child to her body, of a child to her parents, of a family to the wider community, of a judge to justice, of citizens to state authorities. When legal authorities embrace bad ideas, the consequences are all the more devastating for the victims.

For Christians exhausted by the “culture war,” unsure of whether we engage in politics, and wishing only to “stay in our lane” of proclaiming the Gospel, Sage’s story speaks. Every generation of Christians who have faced conflict within a pagan cultural context has had to protect children. Our pagan moment is no different.

We will answer before God about whether we remained silent or dared to speak on behalf of children like Sage and parents who face incredible opposition like hers did. May we be known for our love, expressed by a courage that challenges evils like Sage faced, until they are a thing of the past.

This Breakpoint was co-authored by John Stonestreet and Kasey Leander. For more resources to live like a Christian in this cultural moment, go to breakpoint.org.

Purifying Prayer

“Jesus also taught: ‘Beware of these teachers of religious law! For they like to parade around in flowing robes and receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces. And how they love the seats of honor in the synagogues and the head table at banquets. Yet they shamelessly cheat widows out of their property and then pretend to be pious by making long prayers in public. Because of this, they will be more severely punished.’” (Mark 12:38-40 NLT)

Prayer is more than saying words with a pious posture or language. Words without relationship are worthless. The purpose of prayer isn’t to get answers, it’s to create intimacy with the Father, to enable us to grow in our love for and usefulness to our Savior, and to bear His image more clearly.

The Pharisees had a great command of the language and knew how to pray impressive prayers, but to what end? Purifying prayer focuses on God, relies on God, and hungers for God’s fullness, believing that only God can create in us a pure heart.

In its purest form prayer isn’t about us, it’s a means to an end, but knowing what that end is can be elusive. Obviously, God’s will and plan is to enable us to be conformed to the image of Jesus, to the point that we live and breathe His will, not our own; however, things get fuzzy when we mix our will and desires with His.

And yes, of course, we want to lift our needs to the Lord and ask for specific things that are attacking us, but even then, there is a battle of wills. How so? Let’s say that my child is deathly ill. Age is irrelevant, as no matter how old our child is, we don’t want to lose them. That sets the stage for the proverbial tug of war of our will with God’s.

All we can see is our child alive and well, so that occupies the major content of our prayers on their behalf. But what if God knows something that we don’t? (Imagine that 😊) James MacDonald wrote: “Prayer is purifying – as you pray, you learn to want not just right things, but right things for right reasons.”

What if the “right thing” in this context is for my child to die. How could that ever be? Honestly, I can’t imagine it, that’s why I’m using it as an illustration. I’ve sat with parents who have lost their child and, in my mind, there’s no greater loss imaginable. But the sad, hard reality is, children die. But why? Why would God allow that?

To God EVERY person is a child, and His desire is for everyone to become His child through new birth in and through Jesus, His Son. What if God in His foreknowledge and omniscience knew that our child was heading into such a catastrophic period it would test them so severely it would rob them of their will to love and serve Him? That it would result in them missing heaven?

My adult children aren’t walking with the Lord, so I pray every day for their safety and protection, giving them time to find their way to Jesus. But, if I’m honest, I would rather have lost them as small children knowing I’d see them in heaven, than have them grow up and die without a relationship with Jesus.

Purifying prayer is seeking God’s cleansing of our heart, mind, soul, and body, enabling us to see Jesus more clearly, hear His voice more strongly, and desire His will as if it were our own. We can’t and won’t have full understanding of the ways of God until we meet Him on the other side. That’s why the Bible calls it faith – “for we walk by faith, not by sight.” We can learn to pray in unselfish, childlike ways, that please God and give us purity of purpose as we pray for others.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊

Welcome To Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

Reprinted by permission of the author.

*(My wife recently shared this brief poem with me, and it spoke to my heart in a special way. I hope it speaks to you and blesses you with insight and understanding as it did me. Enjoy and contemplate! I love this poem and the heart that created it. Blessings, Ed 😊)

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

Photo by Tanathip Rattanatum on Pexels.com

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Former Things

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NLT)

Do you believe women are part elephant? And, no, I’m not referring to the size of their clothes, but the size of their memory. I’ve concluded its worthless to argue with my wife. It seems she can remember every detail of everything we’ve ever done and, unfortunately, everything I haven’t done or did wrong.

When it comes to my failures and shortcomings, I’d really prefer to “let the past be past,” but I’ve learned that’s not always best, especially when the “past” keeps repeating itself. Some former things need to be dealt with, especially if they continue to create tension between you and someone you love.

Depending on the nature of the repeat behavior and how serious it is in terms of its effect on the relationship, sometimes it’s as simple as sitting down together and learning to listen to one another. If that’s not an answer that will work in your situation, consider seeking counsel from someone else whose opinion you both trust, not necessarily a professional.

Something we tend to forget is there are at least two dimensions to “former things” – former good things and former bad things. Likely because of our fallen nature we tend to focus on the bad, the things that separate us from one another; however, especially in marriage or virtually any long-term relationship, there should be, and hopefully are, many enjoyable things from which to draw memories.

Arguments or disagreements often dredge up things from the past that should already have been forgotten, as Isaiah 43:18-19 reminds us: “But forget all that – it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

The “old things” to which Isaiah refers is the time God opened the waters and allowed the freshly freed slaves of Egypt to walk on dry ground with walls of water on each side of them, then drowned the Egyptian army by collapsing those walls on top of them.

How God has worked in our lives may not have been as dramatic, but, if we’re willing to take the time, we can surely find ways that God has intersected our lives in significant ways, ways that when pondered, can turn our hearts toward Him.

There are times in my life that when remembered, may seem to me that God was cruel or uncaring. “Why didn’t He heal that relationship?” “Why did He let my loved one die?” “Why didn’t He let me have that job I so wanted?” On and on it goes as we second guess God’s decision in those critical moments.

George Sweeting wrote: “Divine love is kind even when misunderstood. Love knows how to take sorrow and heartache victoriously.” There have been lessons I’ve learned in difficult circumstances, not only about God, but about myself, that I could have learned in no other way. For one, I’ve learned to hear God’s voice, to discern His “whisper” during the howling storm.

I’ve also learned that God never wastes a problem, so whatever you may be going through in this season of your life, hear the Psalmist’s words reminding us to: “Be still, and know that I am God!”

“Former things,” both positive and negative, can give rise to growth and increased closeness to the Father if we’ll let them.

Food for thought.

Blessings, Ed 😊